The tale of an HIV positive mother in India might just have a happy beginning, but the end is rarely satisfying.
She continues to lead a secluded life because of her husband’s errant ways and the apathetic society around. This article is dedicated to one such mother who fought through social discrimination to emerge as an inspiration to many HIV positive mothers around the globe.
The test
It was in the year 1998 that Shivani (name changed) got married with dreams in her eyes just like any other girl of her age. And within a year, she conceived. Like every mother, she thought her baby would have a bright future. Things were going as she had eternally planned until life drastically changed. Suddenly everything around her changed and within five months she was on the road to hell as she was diagnosed as HIV positive.
And consecutively her marriage too hit a dead-end and she lost her two-year-old baby. With teary-eyes, she bares her heart, “I was working in the kitchen when I noticed a rash on my skin. I told this to my husband who advised me to visit a doctor. The doctor gave me some antibiotics and I was cured. During my next visit, I was asked to go for a blood test. I gave blood without pondering over the need for the test. From that day onwards, my life began to take bizarre turns. First my husband got a call from the doctor saying that I had been tested positive for HIV and then on another fateful day, my husband’s brother dropped me and my baby at a care home in the city, saying it was for a few days of treatment.
The first question the doctor asked me was: ‘How did you get HIV?’ My husband or my in-laws never came back and I was not allowed to return. Later I found out that my husband had filed a divorce case in court. Those were the worst days of my life. But, that was not all, within five month I got the biggest shock of life and I lost my baby - my only hope of living. This was indeed a great loss for me.”
Her struggle
Shivani comes from a family of seven sisters, she being the second. "My father died when I was very young and my mother is not very well off," she explains. "My elder sister got married and left home and my younger sisters were still studying. So I had to work. I started working in a car showroom to make enough money to feed my family, but when I got married I had to leave that job,” informs Shivani.
Scared and shattered, Shivani decided not to return to her mother’s house as she didn’t want to be a burden on her family. “Nobody likes to be terribly sick or be bed-ridden,” says Shivani. After a few months of treatment, the hospital authorities shifted her to an ashram. "Till that time, I didn't know what it meant to be HIV positive. I just knew that I was sick with a deadly disease and I had few years to live. After few months of daily struggle, I heard about a voluntary organisation that cared for people infected with the HIV virus. I had no hope of living by then and I needed help, " she adds.
Her past life and her husband
"When my baby died, I called my husband and informed him about the reason for her death. But instead of consoling me he alleged that I had passed on the virus on to him! Talking to him hurt me gravely and since it is not good for my health, the authorities here don't allow me to call him any more”, she says in resignation. For the first time she starts crying but suddenly wipes her tears and says "That was long time ago, now he is married again and I don’t care about him anymore. All I want from him now is to stop spreading death like this”
"It’s not important how I got it. How I am living with it is more important"
Though Shivani keeps getting fevers more frequently now, than before and her immune system is weakening (her CD4 count test is 35), her enthusiasm for life is still unaffected. A volunteer at an NGO, Shivani helps with counselling and provides strength to other HIV parents who have infected kids. A woman, who has lost all hopes in life, Shivani has come a long way. She says, "Unfortunately, most people don't understand the difference between HIV and AIDS. I have survived for nine long years, when people believed that I would live for barely a few months. If someone could learn from my experience rather than bearing all that I have gone through, I’ll be satisfied with the thought that I have used my life for a purpose."
She continues to lead a secluded life because of her husband’s errant ways and the apathetic society around. This article is dedicated to one such mother who fought through social discrimination to emerge as an inspiration to many HIV positive mothers around the globe.
The test
It was in the year 1998 that Shivani (name changed) got married with dreams in her eyes just like any other girl of her age. And within a year, she conceived. Like every mother, she thought her baby would have a bright future. Things were going as she had eternally planned until life drastically changed. Suddenly everything around her changed and within five months she was on the road to hell as she was diagnosed as HIV positive.
And consecutively her marriage too hit a dead-end and she lost her two-year-old baby. With teary-eyes, she bares her heart, “I was working in the kitchen when I noticed a rash on my skin. I told this to my husband who advised me to visit a doctor. The doctor gave me some antibiotics and I was cured. During my next visit, I was asked to go for a blood test. I gave blood without pondering over the need for the test. From that day onwards, my life began to take bizarre turns. First my husband got a call from the doctor saying that I had been tested positive for HIV and then on another fateful day, my husband’s brother dropped me and my baby at a care home in the city, saying it was for a few days of treatment.
The first question the doctor asked me was: ‘How did you get HIV?’ My husband or my in-laws never came back and I was not allowed to return. Later I found out that my husband had filed a divorce case in court. Those were the worst days of my life. But, that was not all, within five month I got the biggest shock of life and I lost my baby - my only hope of living. This was indeed a great loss for me.”
Her struggle
Shivani comes from a family of seven sisters, she being the second. "My father died when I was very young and my mother is not very well off," she explains. "My elder sister got married and left home and my younger sisters were still studying. So I had to work. I started working in a car showroom to make enough money to feed my family, but when I got married I had to leave that job,” informs Shivani.
Scared and shattered, Shivani decided not to return to her mother’s house as she didn’t want to be a burden on her family. “Nobody likes to be terribly sick or be bed-ridden,” says Shivani. After a few months of treatment, the hospital authorities shifted her to an ashram. "Till that time, I didn't know what it meant to be HIV positive. I just knew that I was sick with a deadly disease and I had few years to live. After few months of daily struggle, I heard about a voluntary organisation that cared for people infected with the HIV virus. I had no hope of living by then and I needed help, " she adds.
Her past life and her husband
"When my baby died, I called my husband and informed him about the reason for her death. But instead of consoling me he alleged that I had passed on the virus on to him! Talking to him hurt me gravely and since it is not good for my health, the authorities here don't allow me to call him any more”, she says in resignation. For the first time she starts crying but suddenly wipes her tears and says "That was long time ago, now he is married again and I don’t care about him anymore. All I want from him now is to stop spreading death like this”
"It’s not important how I got it. How I am living with it is more important"
Though Shivani keeps getting fevers more frequently now, than before and her immune system is weakening (her CD4 count test is 35), her enthusiasm for life is still unaffected. A volunteer at an NGO, Shivani helps with counselling and provides strength to other HIV parents who have infected kids. A woman, who has lost all hopes in life, Shivani has come a long way. She says, "Unfortunately, most people don't understand the difference between HIV and AIDS. I have survived for nine long years, when people believed that I would live for barely a few months. If someone could learn from my experience rather than bearing all that I have gone through, I’ll be satisfied with the thought that I have used my life for a purpose."
No comments:
Post a Comment